The thing is this. I love my son to bits. How could you not? Look at him...
but giving up my job to be a stay-at-home-mum will probably drive me nuts, not to mention drive Mr. Mine up the wall. The first reason being, I've always been earning my own money, especially for my guilty pleasures and temporary bliss items. I definitely can't give up not having to answer to anyone about purchasing that new handbag or those 3 pairs of similar heels in different colours. Secondly, I'm not very domesticated (obviously!) and ensuring that my house is spotless and my cushions are standing straight in line at Attention is not my idea of fun. Although I lurveee lepaking at my cousins places where the kitchen tops are squeaky clean and the carpets are fluffy and smell nice. (I've asked Mr. Mine for a designer kitchen though in our new house -when we buy one, that is- so that I can make cupcakes).But oh, the guilt. The guilt which apparently, after asking around with colleagues, stays with you for the rest of your life. Just last week, Elle had a breakdown when she was informed that her toddler had no one to dance with at the "school's" father day celebrations. Luckily my little sprog is still oblivious eoungh to his surroundings to miss his parents. But that will change in no time and I'll probably be kicking myself when that happens. However, I will be able to buy myself a new pair of strappy high heels as retail therapy to ease the guilt - not!
That's on a normal day at work. I haven't even gone to when I'll be away night and day for workshops, away days, teambuilding sessions, outstation meetings.... who will wash his bottles and pack his basket for school? Who will wash him up and rub his tummy with Yu Yee Oil before bed? Who will wake him up in the morning to give him his breakfast before school?
He's learnt to smile and babble. I'm not sure exactly when it happened because I wasn't there.
3 comments:
i know it feels terrible. maryam first rolled over when i was in sudan. i wanted to cry. perhaps i did. but you know what, being a working mom and missing one or two momentous occasions in your kid's life shouldn't make you feel guilty or any lesser of a mom. it's fine and dandy if you decide to quit your job and pay 100% attention to your brood but i think you should be fair to yourself too. perhaps, with you working, he'll mature faster and be more resilient in the future. who knows kan? we all pray that our offspring turn out ok. although sometimes we do have our regrets but i think it's all ok.
No matter what you decide you will definitely have my support 100 percent:)
It does feel bad. With the late nights in this new place I'm in and its frequent travels, my heart breaks into pieces whenever I call home and Lil Cub starts asking on the phone why wasn't home.
But I echo Elly. It is the sacrifice one has to make *sigh*
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