Cheritera Twitterer

Al-kesah adalah sorang mamat ni akak kenal.  Akcheli akak kenal dia practically semenjak azali disebabkan my parents know his parents and somewhere, stuck in some photo album from the 70s where all the snaps have turned a rusty orange, there's a picture of me blowing out a candle on my 1st birthday cake with him standing by my side....altogether now "awwwwwww!", NOT!! 

So, fast forward and pause.

I'm in highschool and I'm hot (yelah, zaman baru nak naik, perasan hotlah).  He drives by in his (mum's borrowed) car and (unfortunately) he too thinks he's the shiznit.  He stops, says hello, just so his sidekick, riding shotgun, thinks he's Tha Playa (pergh, tak sama sekali).  Sebenarnya adalah sangat embarassing to "know" boys from THAT loser school.  Urgh.

Fast forward lagi. 

It was one of those nights, out with the girls, the music was pumping, and as I was heading back from the ladies', back to the party, I hear a voice call out my name and faces looking my way.  Gahhhh!!!  Boleh tak aku buat pekak dan jalan jer?  It is a club anyway, if I'm lucky, he could be drunk and delusional.  Maybe he didn't really see me.  Maybe, he just thought he did.  Blegh, so I half smiled, half waved and kept on walking.  Demmit, that half smile was taken as a invitation to call and tell me his erm... life (of a loser) story. 

"I go clubbing practically every night of the week."

"I have a company entertainment account, so I memang 'open table' every night."

"I get invites to all the best parties in town, comes with the job, so stick with me if you wanna join us."

Iyerrrr kerrrr??  Duuuuuuuuude! Tak tanyaaaaaaaaa ponnnnnnn! *muntah darah*

Fast forward lagi sekali.

So, everyone's on twitter these days.  Which itself comes with a whole new set of etiquette yakni, akak terpaksa lah follow dia jugak to reciprocate, kan? Yelah, coz it came with the whole his-parents-know-my-parents-and-somewhere-in-some-old-album blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda.  Tapi kalau korang ada terbaca tweets akak yang memerli jantanz murahan yang asyik nak lemparkan corny pick-up lines kepada artis2 dan model2 Mesia tu... dialah yang sebenarnya dimaksudkan.  Getik.  So, when he started up again last night, without thinking (and tweeting without thinking is not acceptable even if you're pissed drunk or high on 3 straws of coke, ok?!) I shot back with something rude.  Ghupenya, mamat tu took offense.  Pastu member dia pun took offense jugak... Haaa sudaaaaah.

Terus lah akak ni menyusun 10 jari memintak mahap dan ampun.  Ngeh. Padan muka akak.  Lenkali, nak laser pun, breathe and count to 10 first. *facepalm*